My Thoughts

My thoughts in my mind are quiet, most of the time. That is not to say they are silent.  When they want to get noticed they scream and often startle me. Pictures without sound, visions without words; but the knowledge is there. The sharpness of a razor or the softness of silk, they are all mine.

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. There are clouds and thunder too. Tornados and earthquakes shake all that is inside me. It’s during those storms I find it difficult to quiet and clam those thoughts. They had been ignored for too long. Just as if you ignore a friend for too long, they get upset and let you know about it.

The darkness of those thoughts, sometimes cause me concern. But not that I would act upon them. Just that what others might feel about them. But if a person really knows me there shouldn’t be any fear. Some take the words I put down as a literal, future actions. If that were true. I’d already have blood on my hands.

Just as the dark is dark, my light is bright. You can feel the warmth of my sun. For when it shines it is shared, it is for everyone not just for me. It leads me away from the darkness so I’m able to see out of the tunnel I painted myself into. Back and forth I travel. My thoughts never stop. Even my dreams go from light to dark.

The darkness in my dreams affects how I feel when I wake up. It’s a very uneasy feeling. Like something bad is about to happen and I can’t do anything about it. Just to let it happen. I hate that helplessness.

My mind, my thoughts; my brain never stops. Good, bad, happy, sad; it’s all there. Pain, tears and agony all share the same space. It’s not just one thing or the other. They are all together, taking their part in every thought. That may or may not become an action.

Blood, sweat, tears along with the smiles, kisses and rainbows. The light and the dark. But I will admit; the dark is much easier to write.